2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
