Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
