I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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