He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
