this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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