i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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