She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
