idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
