your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
