ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
