U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
