Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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