So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
