Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
