Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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