I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
