so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
