1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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