dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
