yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
