Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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