I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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