ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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