oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
