How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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