Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
