Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
