I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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