its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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