my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
