HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
