i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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