I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
