Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
