Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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