You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
