you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
