Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
