just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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