How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
