I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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