i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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