Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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