hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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