he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize