you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
