Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
