just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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