Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
