DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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