pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish i was in the wii world.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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