Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
