I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize