I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize