saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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